My story is one filled with hope and with love for two sweet babies that I’ve never met.
When my husband and I made the decision to begin trying to start a family, we had no idea of the journey we would soon embark on. A journey so heartbreaking, yet so incredibly rewarding… We kept the little secret that we were trying for a baby to ourselves for the first several months, privately hoping we would conceive and be able to surprise our friends and family with the news shortly thereafter. However, after several months of nothing happening, we began to worry a little bit. During a subsequent doctor visit, we were assured that nothing was wrong and we just needed to give things time and keep trying. But, after a full year had passed, we began to seek answers.
I was diagnosed with polycistic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and a hormone imbalance. My heart was broken because I desired nothing more than to become a mother, yet my own body was battling against us. After months of fertility drugs, we were finally able to conceive and shared two precious days of knowing we were finally parents before we lost our tiny baby to an early term miscarriage. Our hearts were broken over this sweet little baby we wouldn’t meet this side of heaven and the loss of hope that miscarriage took from us. We quietly went on with life, saddened and disheartened.
By the following winter, after having battled infertility for two full years, we felt God calling us to consider adoption as the result of witnessing firsthand the joy that it brought to other families around us. We opened our hearts to this possibility and began the adoption process eight months ago. We are now very close to finding our little one and bringing them home to our family soon! Our journey may have previously been filled with pain, loss and grief, but it is now one of hope and joy!
My Tiny Tags charm simply says “mama”. I wear it on a chain that belonged to my grandmother in honor of the little one we have lost who waits for us in heaven and for the sweet babe that is yet to come to our family through the beautiful, life giving process of adoption!
Thank you Tiny Tags for giving me something tangible to remember my little one by and for the reminder to not give up hope. For one day soon, my little one will call me ‘Mama’.