The Light in Our World
The Light in Our World
To my beautiful children,
It’s been a long time coming to get you on your way to your daddy and I. Lots of time and lots and lots of needles and doctor’s visits. When you’re young, you never expect to go through certain hurdles in your life. You think that things will work out and that your best plans will fall into place. Well, things did work out. Not as we expected them to, but in many ways, a lot better.
When we started trying to conceive almost 3 years ago, we didn’t expect that month after month we would have to continue trying. We didn’t expect to be sitting in the waiting room of a fertility center, hand in hand, anxiously wondering what would happen next. We didn’t expect to do 3 months of artificial insemination and then 3 rounds of IVF during the year and a half that followed. We didn’t expect the tears or heartache, we didn’t expect all of the medication and procedures, and we didn’t expect the failures each time. We also didn’t expect that our hearts would grow. We didn’t expect we would gain deeper empathy for those struggling with their trials in life. We didn’t expect that we would grow closer than ever, and we didn’t expect that our gratitude would multiply in every facet of our lives. We didn’t expect to see such a beautiful side of life that could only be seen through the hard days.
Now that you are here, my two beautiful babies, we look back and we truly wouldn’t change a thing. I got to see your dad through tear-filled eyes making me laugh instead of cry so I wouldn’t be scared. I got to see him pull up baby pictures on my iPad before giving me my shots so that I could be reminded of the goal. I got to see him tuck me into bed when I was exhausted and have him tell me that it would all be okay. I got to be on the receiving end of hundred of prayers and to feel their power of peace in my soul. I think that I have God and you to thank for that. I have a deep conviction that we can be happy during the hard things that we have to endure in this life because there is always a silver lining if you open your eyes to look for it. I feel empowered in knowing that it’s my choice.
What do I want for you? I want you to remember that you have taught your mama and daddy to be grateful in our trials. Do you understand what a special gift that is? Our entire lives will be happier because of that. You’ve taught us what no else could. When you’re feeling down, I want you to remember that you we wanted you in our family. We wanted you here so much that I injected myself with hundreds of shots for you, and I would do it all again because you’re worth it. I want you to remember that when life gets tough and makes you feel unimportant, that you’re the light in our world and you have brought us joy since before your little heartbeats started beating. Thank you for everything you have given us.